Stress

Stress doesn't even seem to begin to cover it because I'm getting back to the point where it takes a toll on my body - aches and pains in my shoulders, elbows, and wrists. It's ridiculous.
I'm irritable and definitely tired and I've only felt like this since last night, yet it feels like I've felt like this forever. It's times like these when I feel it's hardest to focus on God, which times like these is exactly when I need to be focusing on Him.  
In reality all of these things I'm letting myself get worried about are trivial and small compared to God, so why do I even bother worrying about them like I do?
Duh. Because I'm human and want to control everything. 
Well, right now it feels like God is really shaking everything up because everything in my life is out of control, out of MY control, and in God's control. 
Does that mean I can sit back and relax because God has it all under control and that I should really put my true hearts focus on the Lord? YES.
Lord, let that be the true prayer and goal of my heart.
Lord, let me get done the things that need to get done with a servants heart that is seeking to glorify your name. 
Lord, I am a failure and that is something I want to daily come to terms with, and acknowledge that I succeed only through the grace and love of Jesus Christ.








I seriously need to start taking personal moments to myself and God, like going for a walk or sitting outside admiring what's around me. And I just can't wait to do that with Thomas when we're married. 




Today has been stressful, blah, productive, and downright depressing. I've had a couple of good cries, heck, I'm even crying right now and will probably continue to cry after I have written this blog. My tears are bitter, sad, and desperate, my spirit feels empty and broken, and there is nothing else I can do but go to God, and go to bed. 








18. Sweet family moments.
19. God's promises.
20. Sarah Hayes coming to visit. 
21. The generosity of friends.
22. The joy it'll all be when there will be no more planning.
23. Being challenged to grow closer to God and learn more about myself.
24. Thomas' sweet smile and hugs
25. My mother in law.
26. Being humbled.