Driving in the car at night...

I enjoy driving in the car most nights, occassionally with the radio off so I can hear all of the sounds my car makes while driving. Whenever I do this I often have something very deep on my mind and tonight was one of those nights. A troubled deep. I feel like this entire month I have felt so blah. I have felt so... apathetic? Not all of the time, but it's become a lot now. It scares me. And even though I know I'm NOT apathetic and I care very much - I feel as if the feeling has not come back to me yet. This leads me to many points like; Dear Lord, please let me feel more passionate again, with youthful zest for life. His most loving answer to me was to read my bible which makes me happy. He reminds me often now "This will not last forever."

He has also brought me to my goal without my knowing of it. He's changed my life forever and enabled me to see and realize the love that I have been blessed to give this summer to all of the little girls that walk into my cabin and yet I still do not know the capacity of that love. At the beginning of the summer I felt like God was laughing at me (not in a cruel way), and now I know that He is looking down smiling at me and encouraging me to just keep going and not worry about what He's doing. And as hard as that may be for myself I know that I must not worry but continue to do the work that the good Lord Himself has called me to do.

I want to add one more thing that is very important and living life without professing it would not be right, there is no one else on this earth that I would want to do my life's work with than Thomas Pinckney because God has used him to enrich my life so greatly. I am sure of God, I am sure I am going to heaven, but I am also sure that whatever feeling or phase I'm going through, I love Thomas Pinckney and I thank God for him.